Why should a woman drop her boyfriend

Dedication is a matter of the heart: It's so good to let yourself go

Hardly any feeling is more intense than what people feel when they give themselves up to something and find fulfillment in it. Still, it is very difficult for many to let go. A lack of trust and fear of losing control usually hold them back. With a little overcoming, however, even hesitant people can learn to surrender.

Surrendering yourself, especially giving yourself to another person, is strongly connected with longing to be caught and loved - a basic need that is already evident at the moment of birth, when we are "given" into the arms of the mother and are dependent on being cared for. A basic trust arises early on, which in later life contributes to the extent to which we can give ourselves to other people.

Devotion in love: feel it with all your senses

Surrendering to someone else is one of the most wonderful moments in human relationships, if not at all. At that moment one arises magical connection between lovers that goes well beyond the sexual physical experience. The feeling of being caught fulfills the deepest longing for love, security and happiness.

Devotion makes you vulnerable

But surrender also requires courage and strength. Because if we deliver ourselves to a situation or a person, we always take the risk, rejected and deep getting hurt inside. Strong people can deal with injuries and risk rejection or non-fulfillment of their longings. But they know that their courage can also pay off in a wonderful moment of feeling alive.

Overcome loss of control and turn off your head

Surrendering is always at the limit of the Be delivered. For fear of being injured, a protective mechanism or a defensive stance reflexively sets in in many people. The idea of ‚Äč‚Äčlosing control of yourself or the environment makes you nervous, sometimes even panicked. Often the basic trust that you need to indulge in a moment is missing. Especially in the presence of others, they feel at the mercy of fearful people and react embarrassed.

Let go of fear and just let go

If you cannot give yourself up (but would like to), you should first ask yourself what is holding you back and deal with it Grapple with reason. Once this reason becomes aware, it is easier to face it and gradually get involved in devotional situations. Turning off your head is the most important requirement for surrender, because it is not a rational mind decision, but a matter of the heart.

Of course, that's easier said than done. If you really notice a fear in yourself to get involved with others, you should first try to come to terms with yourself before throwing yourself into a new, perhaps only superficial, relationship. If you do not yet know exactly why you cannot trust others, this will have a major impact on your relationship, can lead to conflicts or even hurt your partner very much.

So ask yourself: what is holding me back? Have I had a bad experience? What would help me regain confidence and courage?

Without a doubt, it always helps to talk to others about it. For now, these may be your close friends, but once you're in a relationship again, you should definitely be too exchange with your new partner. Knowing about your fears can help them understand some of your behaviors much better that might normally have offended them. Of course, there are not only fears of attachment on the romantic level. Doing it is also difficult to form true friendships because they don't trust the other. Love and devotion need not automatically mean physical affection. Here, too, a clarifying conversation can work wonders.

If your fears get so great that you are already closing yourself off from the outside world, you should consider talking to a trained therapist about your problems.