When do we say you don't say

It's a shame you don't say what you feel

Last update: 10 August, 2017

“I feel bad about something my boyfriend said to me, but I didn't answer him so that he wouldn't get angry.”, “I can't tell my partner that I want to break up because I won't hurt him would like to." - How often have you not dared to say what you are feeling? We are silent for fear of the reaction of others, we don't want to show our feelings, but in the end we are the ones who feel bad.

If we don't say what we think or how we feel, our fellow human beings cannot know either and we feel worse every time. Communicating what we are feeling, giving our opinion, making suggestions, saying “no” will help us feel free and we will be masters of our own lives. Asserting yourself means affirming yourself.

"Always say what you feel and do what you think."

Gabriel García Marquez

Reasons Why You Should Say How You Feel

We can be scared to say what we think. But not saying what we think or how we feel can affect relationships with others. So I'd like to give you the following five reasons why you should say what you are feeling.

You will feel liberated

If you express your opinion or feelings respectfully, with love and affection and tell others what concerns you or concerns you, you will feel fundamentally liberated, becausewe feel a load when we dayCarrying around with us feelings that remain unsaid every day. This affects our relationships with others without our even noticing it.

You will feel closer to your counterpart

There is no longer a wall between two people once they have said what they wanted to communicate to each other, and that turns into closeness - an intimacy in which trust is strengthened and the relationship improves. We then know how the other is feeling and how we are feeling, which is why there is a feeling of peace.

You will be yourself

If you keep your thoughts behind the mountain, you are hiding yourself too, building a wall around you and nobody can see who you really are. But if you express your feelings through words, looks, hugs, kisses etc., you will feel more alive because that is YOU. You no longer hide behind what remains unsaid and you allow yourself to enjoy the feelings you express with words and gestures.

As soon as you don't show yourself what you are, others have a wrong idea of ​​you, and it remains an idea. They will not see you for who you are and cannot appreciate you for what you actually are and they do not know what strengths and virtues you have.

“Life is not easy for either of us. But who cares! You just have to persevere and above all believe in yourself. You have to feel called to pursue a cause and you have to achieve this cause, no matter what the cost. "

Marie Curie

You will improve your communication

As soon as you learn to say "no", to say what you feel, communication with your fellow human beings will be more transparent and there is nothing to hide. You will feel a lot more comfortable because you are no longer afraid to say what your mind and body are telling you.

You will act coherently

If we don't say what we are feeling, there is a huge imbalance between who we are and what we show others. However, if we learn to communicate, to say what concerns us, we can do with ourselves and exterior come to terms.

How to share what you are feeling with others

To say what you feel you have to learn to assert yourself. You use assertiveness to tell your fellow human beings what you really want, what you need, and thus behave in a dignified and self-assured manner. In order to assert yourself, you can consider the following advice:

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones

Sometimes we tend to say very negative things to ourselves, like "I can't, I'm not able to!" or we ask ourselves: "What will the others think of me if I say what I think ... Will they be mad at me?" All of these thoughts influence our emotional world and build a wall between us and our environment - a wall of unspoken words and unexpressed feelings.

Try to make all of these negative thoughts go away with positive sentences:“At least I'll try! If I can't do it, it doesn't matter, then at least I've learned something! And iI'll say what I think in a respectful way and stay true to myself! "

You need to realize that other people cannot read your mind

While it may seem obvious, we sometimes get angry, but we tend to say that there is nothing, but what we actually feel is anger. And the more time goes by that we haven't communicated, the worse we feel. You should always remember that no one has the ability to read your mind or guess how you are feeling. It is necessary that you formulate your feelings clearly and precisely so that those around you know what is going on.

Think of your goal

If you can bring yourself to say what you are feeling, you are one step closer to your goal. Remember why youwant to do that, don't stand still and remember that you will surely feel better afterwards. In addition, for the most part what we fear does not occur, which is why we are actually just driving ourselves unnecessarily crazy.

Communicate clearly and clearly

In order to articulate yourself appropriately, you need to articulate your feelings in an understandable way. Don't be bothered by the bushes, start with the most important things and say clearly what you want. Use words that describe exactly what you want and your listener will thank you.

"I know fear, but passion makes me brave."

Paulo Coelho