Jealousy arises from obsession or love

Love and Psychology: Playful or Obsessive - Which Love Type Are You?

That tingling sensation in your stomach! The beginning of a love is always exciting, passionate and romantic. But as soon as the first hormonal rush is over and the good luck lasts longer, it becomes clear that love is not always love. Some enjoy the daily test of strength and passion with their partner, others love their romantic rituals. And quite a few couples have a friendly, almost platonic relationship. Because there are at least six different ways to live love. Who knows what type of love he and his partner belong to, has more chances that love will last. What love type are you and how does your love stay happy? Click your way through.

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Trust versus jealousy

"Relationship models are as colorful and individual as life itself," says graduate psychologist Nathalie Krahé. As early as the 1970s, the sociologist John Alan Lee found six different styles of love. While with the obsessed the feeling of jealousy and insecurity of a partner determines the love, with the amicable lovers trust, security and harmony are the focus. "Certainly a partnership that grows out of a friendship has a good chance of bearing. But of course there is no magic formula," says Krahé. Other types of love like the selfless live according to the credo "I am ready to put my wishes back for those of my partner". "Women in particular tend to focus on the needs of others because they have been taught this in their families or at school," reports the expert.

Purpose-oriented or butterfly?

Rather the opposite are the pragmatic and purpose-oriented lovers: They have very precise ideas about their future - and the relationship must be subordinate to them. Sometimes the player types provide fuel or tears in love. They love hunting, affirmation outside of partnership, and even starting affairs. Anyone who is in a relationship with this type of love must ask themselves what is the attraction of the new and whether there is a deficiency in the relationship. Or both partners have equal rights: "If two of these types meet, they fly like two butterflies from flower to flower," says Krahé. "And allow themselves a few flirts or affairs in addition to the main relationship." But very few of them are as playful and open as the expert reports: "What they allow themselves, they usually do not allow their partners for a long time, my experience shows."

Find the right "quirk"

Although the love styles seem to contradict each other, a person can also combine different types of love: The self-sacrificing lover still tends to be unfaithful and those who care about romance tend to be jealous and willing to sacrifice. It is not uncommon for both partners to complement each other perfectly over the years - despite or precisely because of their quirks: "If one gives what the other needs, it can work - as long as the types are not too extreme, i.e. neurotic," explains Krahé . Otherwise the relationship gets out of whack, and the right balance is the most important prerequisite for both being happy in the partnership. "After all, everyone knows what makes them happy and what they want from a partnership," says the pyschologist. In order for a relationship to work for years, the following applies: "Communicate well, pay attention to each other and take time for each other." And very important: "Allow yourself to change, because in every man and every woman there are hundreds of facets and we usually only see a part." But if you keep discovering new things and are willing to experiment, you have a good chance of lasting happiness for two.

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