Why am I tired of living?

Answer from Bernd

Hello.

Where should I start to answer you?

Charly Chaplin once said: "Youth would be a better time if it came later in life."
And for his 70th birthday, he recited a poem that had the topic:
"when I really began to love myself ....."

And that is exactly where my answer to you should begin!
Maybe you would like to google the title and listen to the poem? It is worth it!
So much from me:
Everything you write gives the impression that you are only looking for yourself in the reactions of those around you! Do you have an idea of ​​how you want to affect others in order to have them hold up the mirror in which you can recognize the ideal of yourself? Do you use and waste a lot of energy trying to achieve the effect you want on others? Where this effect does not occur, you start to hate yourself. Because: everything can't be right with you then?
Have you actually ever looked at which idols are chasing those whose recognition you want to win? Do you really want to be that?

As you begin to love yourself, you will realize that many of those you seek recognition for have no really worthwhile goals (my house, my dog, my car, my wife, my cell phone, my swimming pool, my yacht, my Lover :-) ).
You will reject this for yourself and call it "self-respect"!
You will find that it still makes a difference if they think someone is great ("in" or "hip") or really loves them.
You will realize that there is not only the first kiss, but also the first breakup!

The following may now be exaggerated. But maybe it's worth thinking about?

You probably know that predators also choose their prey if they spot the typical "scent of fear"!
I know there is something like that in people. Maybe not "smell" in the strict sense. But the attitude and demeanor show the predator (your counterpart) whether you expect respect or a beating!

As you begin to love yourself, you will get rid of the smell that your fear of not being recognized and your self-loathing exudes.

When you start to love yourself, you will not only "desire" your counterpart, but you will also be able to love them!

It's all easy to say. From a 60-year-old who quotes a then 70-year-old :-)

And that's exactly why Charly's other saying is true:
"The youth would be a better time if they came later in life."

Maybe that's not the answer you expected?
But I hope I got you thinking!
If you want to write something about it, you can do it (as feedback) in the same way that you submitted your problem.
Or a personal answer via our imprint email address.

All the best,

Bernd