Does the soul feel physical pain after death
These 5 physical symptoms are experienced by almost everyone in mourning - and how you can deal with them!
Our response to a major loss is grief. She brings with her an infinite number of feelings that suddenly run through the entire body. I've seen them all firsthand, or better survived them. There are no feelings without physical reactions, because it is he who produces them and in turn it is he who endures and expresses them. To what extent grief manifests itself through the body and what kind of symptoms almost everyone reports, you will find out below. If you are even affected yourself, I'll show you how you can deal with these symptoms. First of all: I am not a doctor and I always advise to have everything examined beforehand by a doctor. I am only reporting here from my personal experiences!
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1. Palpitations / palpitations
When I was 26 years old, I had myocarditis while on vacation in Portugal and almost died from it. I had severe chest pain and pressure in the chest area and it was difficult to breathe. After my sister Larissa died in 2013, I had a similar feeling and now thought I was going to have a heart attack. Only this time the pain was a thousand times greater than when I actually had heart disease. I thought I would pass out at any moment and die from it myself. Feelings of anger, sadness and intense fear literally gripped my heart and acted on it with immense force. It's scientifically proven that these feelings can really do that. The heart is broken when a loved one dies and it takes a long time to heal. A scar will always remain, a perceived hole that represents the lack of space. Over and over again, grieving people tell me that they have a racing heart and also feel a stinging sensation. Of course, despite everything, it should always be clarified by a doctor what is behind it. This applies to all symptoms! Most of the time, however, it's the grief that just fucking hurts.
What you can do:
Many of my exercises involve laying on your own hands in the chest area. This touch on the heart releases a lot of warmth and can have a very beneficial effect on us, especially if we make light circular movements. The hanging up can also cause tearing, which can make the heart a little easier. Because crying is the expression of a broken heart. Calm, exuberant breathing is just as important. Try to take very deep and conscious breaths, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. It always helped me to take hold of myself and breathe calmly while I sat there sobbing deeply and was sad. Maybe it can also give you a little warmth and Consolation give.
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2. Fatigue / exhaustion
Sadness and a lot of crying not only draw the water out of our eyes, but also the energy from our entire body. It feels heavy as lead. On particularly tearful days, I had hardly found the strength to prepare food, let alone go out of the house. Everything quickly became too much and I was completely exhausted.
What you can do:
I could now cleverly say: sleep. If it weren't for the third point that follows 😉 Because sleeping is also hardly possible for many, despite being tired. But what helps then? Conscious relaxation. What does that mean? To consciously take the time to come to a rest. Back then it always helped when I turned on quiet, relaxed music and just lay on the couch. The tears kept coming back, but that was okay. I deleted appointments that didn't have to be and were urgent from my calendar. Or I asked friends for help, cook, bring to dinner, help with shopping. So that I could use my much-needed leftover energy for myself and my recovery.
In addition, some days walking gave me strength again. Huh, like that, you ask now? You probably know when we sit at home for a long time and get tired of doing nothing. It was the same for me on days like that. I became even more exhausted because I literally didn't do anything anymore. Gentle exercise can sometimes relieve exhaustion a little, because the cardiovascular activity fundamentally strengthens the system, fresh air is always good for the body and nature has a very beneficial effect on our body. It also always gave me a little break from crying. It is not the duration that is important, but that you do it. 10 minutes are enough to get a little strength and take a deep breath. Feel within yourself what you need today. I had enough days on which I did not go for a walk or did not want to go for a walk, on other days I felt that it could be good for me. I have certainly not regretted a single walk. 🙂
You can find out about my personal journey around SeelenSport® and my grief in my bestseller Larissa's legacy!
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3. Problems sleeping
Despite the exhaustion described, many mourners have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. As soon as I went to bed, the sadness overwhelmed me again. My thoughts revolved around the death of my sister and I sometimes had very strong fears and panic attacks. When I managed to fall asleep, I usually woke up with bad nightmares and the whole game started all over again. So it's no wonder that the tiredness lingered through the day.
What you can do:
For example, if you can't fall asleep from all the crying and circles of thought, then there's really no point in lying there and hoping for it. From my experience, I know that it often took longer than if I did something actively for it again.
- Write: I always had my Larissa diary lying next to my bed, in which I always wrote in when my thoughts did not let me calm down. With that I told her about it until my head seemed blank. Often I fell asleep faster and also had the feeling that my sister was with me through the "writing conversation".
- Move: Many times, however, the writing was not enough, especially when there were strong feelings such as anger, fear or guilt. Then I needed exercise. Complex movement sequences, but at the same time not too strenuous, helped me to clear my head and at the same time to feel my feelings and to bring them out. Completely exhausted, I almost always managed to fall asleep afterwards.
- Read: I've always enjoyed reading. In the first year of mourning, however, I found reading particularly difficult because I was hardly able to concentrate on anything. Perhaps you feel the same way, or else completely different and you can find your peace of mind while reading. Just try.
- Odors:Some people are very sensitive to smells. Me for example. I love the scent of lavender (and not just because it's purple and goes with my logo;)). He immediately takes me to another world and lets me relax. In my courses I also use scented candles again and again, which conjure up a cozy atmosphere while relaxing after training. In the meantime, almost everything for me is made of lavender, whether soap, shampoo, shower gel or just around my bed, which is made of stone pine, also has a wonderful scent.
Grief makes you think. Everything in your head revolves around how this new life can now be lived, how this change should be survived and how it could be continued without humans. All these thoughts create feelings and so it is sometimes a real vicious cycle. This can often cause headaches. At first I thought I was suffering from migraines, so bad were my headaches on some days. Headache is a very debilitating pain because there is nothing else you can do as soon as it occurs. You literally burst your skull.
What you can do:
You could throw yourself a pain pill every few hours. But whether you are doing something really good for the body, which is already weakened, is up to you. I used to take a pill every time I had a ailment and keep going. However, this strategy proved to be grueling rather than successful. Because the rest of the body became increasingly weaker and more exhausted. When your body aches, it is talking to you and needs to be watched and rested instead of numb and ignoring. I definitely learned that. So if today I have a headache from crying or because I'm not feeling well, then I lie down. In addition, I prepare a cold washcloth that I put on my forehead, my head. Or I gently massage my temples, or let myself be massaged 😉 Because the headache often comes from the rest of the tension in the body, which brings sadness and then affects the head. So it is better to come into contact with the body first and only when it is no longer bearable, take the pain pill.
When I lie with my physiotherapist today, he can feel the tension from back then. They had very strong, far-reaching consequences for me. My jaw was particularly under tension from the panic attacks. It has shifted as a result and I can no longer close and open my mouth without moving it. I'm still working on that today. When we are really sad, we unconsciously pull our shoulders back and tense up in this area. In addition, there is functioning in everyday life, where we also adopt a similar attitude. We would like to withdraw into our tank, so to speak, for fear from the outside something might trigger. Our shoulders hang forward, we stoop and sit stooped. Over time, the muscles tense and, in the worst case, harden, so that neck pain spreads and back pain can also develop.
What you can do:
- Gentle movements in the opposite direction (breast opening) are a gentle and quick help here. You do need regularity, however. In my Online program under the item warming up you will find such a sequence of movements that brings you into a stretch. A simple sequence is, for example, to lie on your stomach and support yourself with your hands (on the sides of your chest), hold the position for a few seconds, then sit back on your heels, stretch your arms far forward, your head between your arms put it down and pause for a moment and breathe calmly. Repeating a few times and doing it daily can go a long way.
- Dream journeys / imaginary journeys or guided muscle relaxation are also a good way to calm down and relax consciously. Here I recommend the YouTube channel from Mojo Tue, I think she has a pleasant voice and different topics. But you will also find such a relaxation unit in my online program, instructed and spoken by myself.
- Massages: There are massages and there are MASSAGES. So, those who take you to another world and really relax. I like masseuses (with men I can't relax because of my fear of men), who don't just start massaging, but really deal with you and your story and are very sensitive. Here you have to try your way through until you have discovered the right thing for you. Especially after a partner or a child has been lost, touch is so important because it is so absent. And when was the last time you really treated yourself to a massage? So go ahead, time to relax!
Other physical reactions
- Digestive problems and weight gain / loss from altered, emotional eating
- Whirling up the hormonal balance - lack of menstruation
- Skin problems and hair loss: After more than 10 years I got neurodermatitis again and lost half of my hair. Here you need a really loving approach to yourself, good care from the inside (food) as well as from the outside, then it regulates itself again over the years.
What you can do:
In all these cases, I can only advise you again and again: Listen to your body. He speaks, very loud! Follow his talk, even if it is not easy, but listening and obeying are worth it and create a new quality of life. Be patient and give your body time!
If we meet our body on friendship, then it will thank us for it ... A very good book is: Friends for life by Melanie Wolfers:
What physical consequences did you possibly experience? How did you deal with it? Feel free to write it in the comments!
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